By | Sydney Stevenson
In the summer of 2017, SZA, born Solana Imani Rowe, dropped her debut studio album Ctrl. The album was received with wide critical acclaim and commercial success, with singles “Love Galore” and "The Weekend" occupying top spots on the charts for months after the album’s release. Conversations around the album typically centered around SZA’s vocals, the album’s production, or the high-profile features on the album, which included Kendrick Lamar and Travis Scott. Rarely were the album’s complex themes or concepts explored by audiences and critics.
Ctrl is written like a confessional, with SZA writing about her relationship woes, her insecurities, and her fears. At its core, Ctrl is, like the title implies, about control, and more importantly whether or not we have it over our lives. The album opens with a voicemail from SZA’s mother who says, “That is my greatest fear: That if I lost control, or did not have control, things would be fatal.” These words echo the fears of many young people. The idea of having no control over our circumstances, of having no free will over what we do, is terrifying and can feel like a fatal realization.
The album especially resonated with black women because SZA depicted modern relationships. Kristen Jeré, a columnist for Refinery29, wrote, “Having grown into my Black womanhood alongside the album, I often joke with a friend that the most enjoyable times to listen to SZA’s CTRL are when you can no longer relate to the often self-loathing, messy, and unsatisfied main character in a lot of the album’s songs.” In the songs “Drew Barrymore” and “Normal Girl”, SZA details her desires to be loved by the men in her life, even if that means changing herself to receive that affection. In “Normal Girl”, she sings, “Wish I was the type of girl that you take over to mama. The type of girl, I know my daddy, he’d be proud of.” SZA wants to be the caricature of the “perfect girl” for her partner. The girl who is soft-spoken, feminine, and the type of girl you would take home to meet your mother. Black women often fall into the trap of trying to emulate this persona due to relentless masculinization in the media. Many black women feel as if they have to overcompensate and prove their femininity both to their partners and to society. SZA addresses this sentiment more in “Drew Barrymore”: “I’m sorry I’m not more attractive, I’m sorry I’m not more ladylike, I’m sorry I don’t shave my legs at night.” SZA apologizes for doing normal things: acting “unladylike” and having hair on her body. These normal things that most women do further cause her to be perceived as masculine and not worthy of love because of their blackness.
Ctrl also has themes of lost time and the fear of growing up too fast or not fast enough. In “Prom”, she sings, “Fearing not growing up. Keeping me up at night. Am I doing enough? Feel like I’m wasting time.” SZA confesses that she fears that she is not making enough memories while she is young, a universal fear amongst younger generations. She feels as if time is escaping her, and when she is older, she will regret not making the most of her youth. In the album’s final song, “20 Something”, SZA admits, “Hoping my twenty-somethings won’t end. Hoping to keep the rest of my friends. Praying’ my twenty-somethings don’t kill me.” She hopes that she can survive this time in her life because it has been difficult for her, while also hoping that it never ends because she is worried about the future. The album closes with another voicemail from her mother, saying, “If it’s an illusion, I don’t want to wake up. I’m gonna hang on to it. Because the alternative is an abyss, it’s just a hole, a darkness, a nothingness. Who wants that, y’know? So that’s what I think about control.”
In the end, with help from her mother’s words, SZA realizes that the belief that you have no free will or freedom of choice would make your life feel meaningless, like an abyss. Even if having control is an illusion, the hope that we may have it over ourselves and what happens to us is what empowers us to persevere and move forward. Ctrl has and will continue to have, an impact on both R&B culture and the lives of its listeners. Its legacy is undeniable and will be felt for years to come.
Sources
Jeré, Kristen. “SZA’s Ctrl Is Still the Soundtrack of Young Black Womanhood.” Refinery29, 9 June 2022,
SZA. Lyrics to “Supermodel” Genius, 2017,
SZA. Lyrics to “Normal Girl” Genius, 2017,
SZA. Lyrics to “Drew Barrymore” Genius, 2017,
SZA. Lyrics to “Prom” Genius, 2017,
SZA. Lyrics to “20 Something” Genius, 2017,
Comments